WR: Understanding Exposure *Read p. 72-91 + Take 1 & Study 1 Picture*

Had a busy weekend of picture taking - hooray!  If we're lucky, I'll get some of the pictures on here.

I realize as I cover these book chapters, it would be more helpful to actually summarize them, but time just does not allow.  So, I'll assume that you can read them yourself and keep on saying what I liked about the chapter.

This week's reading was about shutter speed.  Here were the things that I found really helpful this week:

-You need a shutter speed of at least 1/500 to 1/1000 to stop motion (p. 76).  I've attempted on a few occasions to stop motion, only to fail miserably.  Now I know what to aim for.

-Use slower shutter speeds when panning - 1/60 to 1/8.  Huh.  I'm still not sure how to do this and not get blur caused from the movement of my hand (ie, up and down /crooked blur).  Something to work on later.

-1/2 sec gives you the cotton effect with flowing water.

I suppose I already knew the basics of shutter speed, so what I took from this reading were numbers that will give me a basis when I'm out shooting.  It gives me an idea of what shutter speed to look for.

The picture this week:

This was a very good exercise in the use of light for me.  This is a wine glass with water in it and a candle behind the glass.  Moving the candle closer or farther from the glass completely changed the shape of the light around the glass.  Very interesting.

This picture kept looking slightly crooked and I couldn't figure out why.  I think the glass is actually now straight (after a little post-rotating), but the water is still crooked!  No wonder it looks funny.  I may attempt this shot again at some point now that I have a better idea of what results.

WA: Understanding Exposure *Read p. 72-91 + Take 1 & Study 1 Picture*

So, I'm a little late posting this week, but I figure anyone who's actually following along knew what was coming next.  

This week we'll be covering shutter speed.

This week's task, should you choose to accept it:  

* Read the second section titled Shutter Speed (p. 72- 91)

* Take a picture.  You get five chances to take one great shot.

*Study someone else's picture

Taking a picture in this way will occur every week.  It can be of anything.  When I take pictures, I tend to take a lot trying to get the composition and settings just right.  By limiting myself to five attempts for THE shot, I'm forcing myself to take the time to check the settings and composition ahead of time.  I'm also trying to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed with a large number of unnecessary images.  I'm just too much of a scardy cat to limit myself to getting it right with only one shot.

The picture to study can be any picture.  On a billboard, in a card, in the current reading, on the web...you get the idea.  The simple act of looking at someone else's photography makes you a better photographer.  A great way to do this is to subscribe to receive Better Photo's Photo of the Day.  I have been doing this for a couple years now.  You get a different picture every day sent to your inbox.  It helps me branch out since the pictures are always of something different.  (Not all nature or landscape or kids.)  And you don't even have to go looking for it - the photo comes to you!

I'll post a Weekly Report (WR) with my picture and any thoughts about the chapter sometime this week.   I do not plan to discuss the picture I viewed unless there was something particularly striking about it.  I see a lot of pictures and it is sometimes difficult for me to put my thoughts into coherent words when it comes to analyzing them.  Also, in order for it to be helpful to you, you'd need to be able to see the picture as well!

I'm not predictable enough to guarantee the WR on a certain day, but it'll be here before Sunday at midnight.

WR: Understanding Exposure *Read p. 36-69 + Take 1 & Study 1 Picture*

Guess you've figured out that I'm a procrastinator!  I finish the reading during the week, but can't seem to get around to posting about it.

Things I took from this week's reading:

I, again, enjoyed Peterson's analogies.  The explanation of pouring paint into a bucket with a funnel acting as aperture suddenly made the concept much clearer for me.  With a funnel, or large aperture (small opening) paint/light doesn't splatter and is crisp and clear.  Without a funnel (small aperture, large opening), light splatters and creates a fuzzy effect.

I also appreciated Peterson breaking aperture sizes into three main categories:  Storytelling (Largest aperture), Singular-theme (f/2.8-5.6), and Who cares (F/8-11).  As someone who has trouble keeping track of numbers, this is really helpful.  It first helps me by forcing me to decide what kind of picture I am trying to take, and from there I can decide what the best aperture would be.  Up to this point, I wasn't really sure where a good "breaking point" between apertures would be.  For instance, what F-stop is good to use when I have a group of people and I want to make sure everyone is in focus.  Yes, I know there is a mathematical formula for this...but seriously?  I'm going to sit there and figure it out?  I suppose at some point that may become second nature to me (I can only hope), but for the time being, I stand a much better chance of remembering and effectively using Peterson's categories.

My picture this week was to fit the theme of Mardi Gras.  I don't have much in the way of Mardi Gras paraphernalia, since I've never been before, but I try to use what I have without bemoaning what I don't have.  Here's what I came up with.

I'm pretty happy with it.  I used a whiteboard under the beads to get a reflection.  I'm did discover taht I'm pretty particular.  Took me about half an hour to get this set up just like I wanted it.  Sometimes I think I'm a little too OCD.  Speaking of...I meant to edit out the line of fabric on the right.  Oops.  Oh well.  This shot happens to be a pretty good example of aperture too.  I wanted a clear point of focus and the rest to be bokeh.  Well...what I really wanted was to take a macro picture, but alas, I do not have that sort of lens.  But, as I said, I do with what I have and try to make it good.

Happy almost Monday.

Featured Photographer Friday :|: Phipps Photo :|:

So, I'll just get it in under the wire.  Friday is almost over, but here I am with a featured photographer. 

Greg Phipps

http://www.phippsphoto.com/

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Greensboro-NC/Phipps-Photography/28266007993?ref=ts

Greg is awesome!  I'll admit that I've never met him, but he is the husband of someone I went to grad school with.  He recently took pictures at a wedding of another friend of mine, which is how I came to know of him.  His work is incredible and the heart he has for photography and people really shines through.  He gives back to the community through his business, which I very much admire and would like to incorporate into my own business.  Go check him out!

WA: Understanding Exposure *Read p. 36-69 + Take 1 & Study 1 Picture*

On to this week's reading about aperture.

Dang it.  I keep misspelling that word.  I want to put an "a" between the "r" and the "t."  Maybe that's what I'll focus on learning between this week and next.

This week's task, should you choose to accept it:  

* Read the second section titled Aperture (p. 36- 69)

* Take a picture.  You get five chances to take one great shot.
*Study someone else's picture

Taking a picture in this way will occur every week.  It can be of anything.  When I take pictures, I tend to take a lot trying to get the composition and settings just right.  By limiting myself to five attempts for THE shot, I'm forcing myself to take the time to check the settings and composition ahead of time.  I'm also trying to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed with a large number of unnecessary images.  I'm just too much of a scardy cat to limit myself to getting it right with only one shot.

The picture to study can be any picture.  On a billboard, in a card, in the current reading, on the web...you get the idea.  The simple act of looking at someone else's photography makes you a better photographer.  A great way to do this is to subscribe to receive Better Photo's Photo of the Day.  I have been doing this for a couple years now.  You get a different picture every day sent to your inbox.  It helps me branch out since the pictures are always of something different.  (Not all nature or landscape or kids.)  And you don't even have to go looking for it - the photo comes to you!

I'll post a Weekly Report (WR) with my picture and any thoughts about the chapter sometime this week.   I do not plan to discuss the picture I viewed unless there was something particularly striking about it.  I see a lot of pictures and it is sometimes difficult for me to put my thoughts into coherent words when it comes to analyzing them.  Also, in order for it to be helpful to you, you'd need to be able to see the picture as well!

I'm not predictable enough to guarantee the WR on a certain day, but it'll be here before Sunday at midnight.

WR: Understanding Exposure *Read p. 1-33 + Take 1 & Study 1 Picture*

I completely missed my Featured Photographer Friday this week.  Sorry about that.  But I have a good excuse.

It was my birthday.  And we got snow.  AND I got two packages in the mail.  A picture order and Lightroom.  Woohoo!  So...next week I will feature a photographer.  I have quite a few lined up...just need to take the time to write about them.

But, onto the purpose of this post.  My weekly report.  I actually finished my reading assignment on Tuesday, but I'm just now getting around to posting.

The bulk of the reading was review for me - ISO, aperture, and shutter speed and how they interact.  I understand this on a basic level, but there were some details that caught my attention.

I really appreciated how Peterson explains how those three things work together.  His example of the faucet opening (aperture), the faucet handle (shutter speed), and the worker bees with buckets (ISO) (p. 22) Finally solidified how these three things are related.  I understood on a basic level before, but now I feel that I would be able to explain it to someone else.  And that is, after all, how you know if you actually understand something.

I also gained a better understanding of stops from this reading (p. 17-19).  I knew what a stop was before, but now I know what numbers equal whole stops and that current cameras also have one-third stops.  So if someone says to "stop it down," you can change the shutter speed from 1/60 to 1/30 or the aperture from f/8 to f/11 (as an example).

Lastly, I appreciated Peterson's focus on creative exposures.  As someone who recently learned how to really use her camera's light meter, it is helpful to know that it is sometimes wrong.  Well, it's always "right" in terms of exposure, but not necessarily for the picture I want to achieve.  I have been better this week about sometimes ignoring what the light meter is telling me.

All in all, a helpful chapter and a good start.

My picture this week was taken for the Phototique weekly contest.  I have just joined this new site and really like it.  I hope to spend some more time this week learning my way around the forums and submitting a photo for critique.  I am very happy that they have a critique section since the boards I've seen lately that say they offer critiques have so many members that you just get a bunch of compliments.  Critiquing and being critiqued is something I really need to work on.

Anyway...enough of the tangent.  The theme this week at Phototique was "Oriental."  I took a fake money tree that I had and formed it into the shape of a heart to make it a bit more interesting.  I'm sure I could have done more with professional lighting, but I was trying to be efficient, so I put it in front of a window.  And, I'll admit, I took 7 exposures instead of 5.   Also, looks like I should have darkened the top right corner a little more in post.  Oh well.

Here's the picture for this week:

I won the weekly theme with this pic :)  Ok, so there was only one other competitor, but it's like I keep hearing, you just have to put yourself out there and enter contests.  You just never know.  At least this is a start for me.

The Artist, Revisited

I've been pondering all week what I wrote in my last post about there being nothing new or unique to be done in photography.


It really was quite a depressing statement.  Upon further consideration, I think that perhaps the uniqueness lies in what is being photographed.  My approach may not be new, and the subject may not be new, but the moment is entirely unique.  And that is what I love about photography.  Capturing a moment that has never, and will never occur again.  This is especially true in portraiture work, which is my passion.  Every person is unique and the moments they create for pictures are entirely new and can never be replicated.  I know...I've tried to replicate exact moments/poses before and it never works!


I still think that the statement I quoted last weeks stands true:  "Don't try to be original; try to be good." - Paul Rand


If you spend your time trying to find a new way of photographing things, you'll go crazy searching.  If you spend your time trying to be better, wiser, more experienced, the creativity should follow.  At least that's what I'm hoping for.


Thought it was important to make this addendum to my previous post so that those depressing words wouldn't be left hanging in the air.  

Who am I as an Artist?

I had the third person ever find me on the internet today...and book a shoot for this week!  Isn't the internet a wonderful thing.  Ahh, google maps, I love thee.

But this upcoming shoot has me pondering again.  Who am I?

I met with a new friend recently who introduced this question to me.  She didn't ask it, as such, but she talked about her journey as an artist and it got me thinking.  Until recently I didn't even really consider myself a photographer.  Well, not a real one.  I mean...I took pictures and stuff, but I was't an actual photographer.  Having arrived at the conclusion that, yes, I am actually a real live photographer, I now had to wrestle with the idea of being an artist.

I come from a line of accountants and CFO's.  Not that they're not creative people, but numbers just don't tug at the creative fibers of one's soul.

I don't know many artists.  I admire those artsy people I do come in contact with and wish I were more like them.  I want funky shoes and colorful hair.  (Yes, I know all artists don't have those.)  But, alas, it's just not me.

I really am not even sure what question I am wrestling with.  What's my photographic style?  What tone do my portraits have?  Do I like posed or natural?  Backdrop or nature?  Model poses or regular people poses?

They plague me.  How on earth am I supposed to find the answers to these questions within myself?  This is part of the reason I want to study more.  The more I study, the more I will understand myself as an artist.  Well, at least that's my hope.

Right now I am clinging to a quote that I read in a twitter of someone I follow...although I can't for the life of me remember who it was.

"Don't try to be original; try to be good." - Paul Rand

I just keep saying that quote to myself over and over again because it feels like that's all I can do.  The more I struggle to be original, to come up with new ideas, the more I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall.

When I entered grad school 6 years ago, I was sure that I could come up with an original idea to study.  Maybe not a new one entirely, but at least a new angle.  I slowly and reluctantly learned that everything's been done.  Ok, so that's not entirely true, but it's pretty damn close.  I was crushed.  Still am to a certain extent.  How can each person not bring their own unique ideas to the table.  Oh, I know we do in a way...a fresh perspective...our own ideas on the subject.  But when you start digging through the research, there have been thousands, or even millions, of unique individuals who have gone before you and studied it all using their own unique perspective.  I felt unimportant in the field of research.  What could I possibly offer?

I have a very similar feeling now with photography.  How on earth can I take a brand new picture that no one's ever thought of before?  It's simply not possible.  Yes, it will be with my camera, from my perspective, of this moment that has never occurred in time before.  But it will be the same as everyone else's.  There's no way around it.   I know I am a unique individual who brings my own ideas and perspectives to the table, but it's all been done before.  I am just like everyone else (not in my own person, but in my artistry).  How depressing.

How can you make yourself stand out from other artists?  What does it mean to be an artist?

I am left with trying to be good.

WA: Understanding Exposure *Read p. 1-33 + Take 1 & Study 1 Picture*

Welcome to Monday, the day I dread.  The day most people dread.

Not my sister.  She loves Mondays.  Feels all refreshed after the weekend and ready to get things done.  I don't feel motivated to get things done until Friday after having put it off all week.

To make Mondays better, I've decided to post the weekly assignment on Mondays.  (Sense the sarcasm.)

Assignments can be done anytime during the week, as long as they are done by Sunday at Midnight.  Don't really know why I'm telling you this.  You can do them (or more likely, not do them) whenever you please.

Have I mentioned that I'm an external processor - I have to talk (or type) things out to really get it.

There is required reading for these assignments.  Most books are available at your local library, although I like to write in mine (awful, I know) and I like to be able to refer back to it later.  The current required reading is featured in the top left corner of this blog if anyone is interested in following along with their own book.

The first book we will be going through is Understanding Exposure:  How to Shoot Great Photographs with a Film or Digital Camera (Upated Edition) by Bryan Peterson.

I chose this book for two reasons.  The first is that I rented it from the library and made it about half way through before I had to return it.  Then I had to wait for Christmas to receive my own copy.  Now I'm back to reading it again.

The second, and more important reason that I chose this book is that I think it is a good place to start.  No picture is good without the correct exposure.  This book covers a lot of basics and is an excellent way to lay the groundwork for more advanced photography.

This week's task, should you choose to accept it:  

* Read the Introduction and first section titled Defining Exposure (p. 1- 33)

* Take a picture.  You get five chances to take one great shot.
*Study someone else's picture

Taking a picture in this way will occur every week.  It can be of anything.  As I mentioned before, the thought of taking a picture every day is completely overwhelming to me.  I think I can manage a picture a week.  When I take pictures, I tend to take a lot trying to get the composition and settings just right.  By limiting myself to five attempts for THE shot, I'm forcing myself to take the time to check the settings and composition ahead of time.  I'm also trying to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed with a large number of unnecessary images.  I'm just too much of a scardy cat to limit myself to getting it right with only one shot.

The picture to study can be any picture.  On a billboard, in a card, in the current reading, on the web...you get the idea.  The simple act of looking at someone else's photography makes you a better photographer.  A great way to do this is to subscribe to receive Better Photo's Photo of the Day.  I have been doing this for a couple years now.  You get a different picture every day sent to your inbox.  It helps me branch out since the pictures are always of something different.  (Not all nature or landscape or kids.)  And you don't even have to go looking for it - the photo comes to you!

I'll post a Weekly Report (WR) with my picture and any thoughts about the chapter sometime this week.   I do not plan to discuss the picture I viewed unless there was something particularly striking about it.  I see a lot of pictures and it is sometimes difficult for me to put my thoughts into coherent words when it comes to analyzing them.  Also, in order for it to be helpful to you, you'd need to be able to see the picture as well!

I'm not predictable enough to guarantee the WR on a certain day, but it'll be here before Sunday at midnight.

The Introduction

Having begun this blog, I now realize that I need to offer a little explanation as to how I'm going to do things.

I'm very much a train-of-thought kind of gal.  I ramble and rumble my way through thoughts and ideas, often getting lost along the way.  Hopefully you won't find it too irritating.  

It's hard to say exactly where I am in terms of my photography skill.  I'm not a beginner and I'm not an expert.  I imagine a beginner might find this blog confusing and an expert would find it boring.  However, I have decided that it is what it is.  I'm confident I will be covering some ground I already know as I go through the books.  Review is always a good thing.  Especially for me since I have an absolutely terrible memory.  No, really.  I mean terrible.  Ask any family member that I've asked to same question to 12 times.  

Thus, beginners might keep from getting too frustrated as I will cover some basics along the way.  However, I don't intend to provide immensely detailed information, such as pictures of Photoshop as I describe the steps necessary to accomplish a task.  Heck, I probably won't even describe the steps.  I'll provide a link.  If someone's already done it, there's no reason for me to do it again here.  Oh, and I don't have time to anyway.  You can go read the other page just like me and then we'll both know the same thing.

Expert photographers may look down upon me as they realize how little I know.  I'm confident that I will not say something I should, like make sure you use Photoshop in a way to minimize pixel destruction.  (Well, at least I've said that one now.)  I will leave important information out, use the wrong terms, or even misguide people.  I'll do my best to get my facts straight before I write anything down, but I do not know everything.  In fact, there are certain very important bits of information that I do not have.  Thus, I'm very certain that I will make mistakes.  The roll of the expert in reading this blog is to provide feedback and set me straight when it is necessary.  Of course, the experts will likely be bored.  I suppose this really is the blind leading the blind.

So who is this blog for?  Anyone who wants to take the time to read it.  I do hope that it is helpful for some folks out there.  At the very least, it will be helpful for me to have everything recorded.  

Whew.  I feel better with that out of the way.  You've all been fairly warned.  Now close this tab and go read something else.

I'm being followed...

on Twitter!  Thanks @breathtakingph!

Granted, the "person" who's following me is also following 12,173 other tweets, so something tells me I won't be getting much personal attention.

I'll admit to never learning about Twitter until 24 hours ago.  The whole thing is sort of befuddling to me.  And I'm not even that old.  I guess I'm just a stick in the mud.  Or too lazy.  But I thought hooking this blog up to Twitter might be worthwhile.  Guess if one follower is enough to keep me going, it was worth it.

Part of what I don't understand is how you get found on Twitter.  Do some people just browse around looking for new and exciting tweets?  Seems like there would be millions to comb through.  I just get overwhelmed at the prospective of having to dig through to find the one's I'd really be interested in and so I climb back into my shell to type away on my own laptop.  I've never really been the best at technological social connection anyway.

Featured Photographer Friday :|:Andrea Ward Studio:|:

Yes, I am a fan of alliteration, so I thought I'd highlight a photographer who I admire on Fridays.

I like this because I can't talk so much about all these amazing artists on my company blog, or I'll lose business.  Ok, maybe not, but it feels a bit that way.  I've got to showcase myself and puff myself up so some discriminating soul will pick me over the thousands of other photographers in the area.  I hate that I have to sell myself in order to be the chosen one.  I've always hated it.  It's not in my nature to pick out the best parts of myself and only talk about that.  I'm more of an "I suck at this, but I'm pretty good at that" kind of gal.

And here is my safe place where I can talk about all the ways I suck.  On a blog.  With thousands of random strangers reading.  Or no one at all to hear.  (More likely the latter.)

Well, on to the point of this post:  my featured photographer.

Andrea Ward

http://www.andreawardstudio.com/
http://www.facebook.com/AndreaWardStudio?ref=ts

(She's giving away a free photo shoot this month if you become a FB fan, live in the area, and post on her wall!)

I went to college with this girl.  She was smart enough to know what she wanted back then and got a minor in fine arts.  She's absolutely brilliant.  I'm not sure I could ever say that to her face.  We're so similar.  No, no.  Not it our brilliance.  In our personality.  I find that whenever we get around each other, it is awkward and conversation material seems to hide under our chairs or behind doorways.  

Given how quiet we are together and how little we see each other, I am quite certain she has no idea how much I admire her work.  This woman can do it all.  At least from my perspective.  She can paint.  Boy, can she paint.  Such incredible pictures.  I've always wanted to be able to paint or draw.  But, alas, I suck at it.  (There, I said it.  I don't have to sell my painting skills to you.)  Not Andi (as I know her).  She's amazing.

And her photography...she does really beautiful work.  Quiet attention to detail.  So quiet in fact that you hardly notice all the work that went into it.  Her photos are rich, vibrant, and true to life.  I have picked up quite a bit by simply looking at her work.  For instance, I learned that I should angle the camera so a person isn't straight up and down in a shot, but coming out of the corner.  Much more dynamic and much more visually appealing.  

She's worked very hard to be where she is.  She still works a second job to help pay the bills.  Isn't that the life of an artist?  

I'm actually quite jealous of her.  All the education she endured and all the knowledge that is now safely locked away in her brain.  All the well-known artists she has had the privilege of working with.  All the mad skills she's got.  

Ugh.  Maybe someday I'll get somewhere close.  I have got to learn some patience on this journey.

In the beginning...

it wasn't this complicated.

I had my Canon Rebel XT.  I experimented shooting pictures.  And I fell in love with photography.

And then I wanted to do more.   I wanted to understand more.  I wanted to spend more.

Here I am 4 years later and I have a very small portrait photography business that primarily consists of clients that are family and friends.

I have the same camera, with some fancy new L series lenses, a tripod, a grey card, a reflector, some lights I got for free, and a light meter that I also got for free and finally learned how to use, although I can't ever seem to remember how to make it work.

I'm terrible at remembering numbers, you know.

I have a family.  I wonderful husband.  An almost-two kiddo. And I am a full-time stay-at-home mom.  I love being with my baby and don't want to work full-time.  But I am about. to. lose. my. mind.

Everyday is the same old thing.  Day in and day out.  I'm sure most jobs feel this way.  I'll be doing this job for quite awhile longer as more kids come along.  I need something to save my sanity.

Enter photography.

When I decided to put myself out there as a business, I didn't intend to put a whole lot of effort into making it grow now.  I don't have time for a full-on photography business.  I figured I'd let it progress naturally and once the kids all go to school, I could put more effort into growing it.

But that's not how I work.  I'm more of a full-steam ahead person.  And I'm frustrated.

I started a promotion on Facebook several days ago where I am giving things away to people who advertise me to their fans.  Giving things away.  I've had all of two people enter in four days.  One is someone who donated to the giveaway.  The other is her husband.  I can't even give stuff away to get more fans.  Seriously?

I'm bitter and discouraged.

So, of course, I start a blog.

I'll admit that I just watched Julie & Julia the other night.  I'll admit that I'm almost 30.  I'll admit that I seem to be having a bit of a personal crisis  Scratch that.  Personality crisis.

But my plan is to learn myself some photography and I have to have a way to be held accountable.  I hate to read.  I would like to attend classes, but they are so expensive.  Even the inexpensive ones are too expensive for us right now.  And think of all the other equipment I could spend that $300 on!  I did actually look into getting some sort of certificate or associates degree, which I would love to do...but when pray tel would that happen?  And shouldn't I use that $50,000 to send my kid to college?  She hasn't been yet.  I've got a master's degree for Christ's sake.  It just happens to be in the wrong thing.

So, here I am planning to work my way through some books and to take photos every week.  I'll post here with chapter summaries and photos to match the lesson, as they apply.

I did consider other options.  Lately I've heard about taking a picture every day (365 Project).  A great idea in theory.  But no good for me.  With a two year old, and my personality, (not to mention my addiction to certain unnamed TV shows and love of favorite movies), there is no way a picture will get taken and posted every day.  I'd just end up more depressed.  I'll leave that challenge to those better than I.

Of course, this won't just be a blog of photography lessons and example photos.  Oh, no.  I have grand plans (as I always do).  I'm sure my regular life will make an appearance on occasion.  I'll highlight some of my favorite photographers.  I'll ponder some of the deeper aspects of being an artist.  I'll admit to the things I don't know and the things I do wrong in shoots.  (God help me if a client actually reads this.)  And I'm sure I'll rant a bit.  I didn't used to be a cynic, but I think I've become one.

In "real" life, I am tame, happy, polite, confident, and generally pleasant.  So...I'm not always those things with my husband, but I'm sure he'll appreciate me having another outlet for my inner gremlin.  I need somewhere where I don't have to be those things.  Hence the title of this blog.  This is unfiltered.  Sometimes, unproofread.  It is honest.  It is me.